Jennifer Aniston: A-Hole or not?

Hollywood has never really been known for its morals, class, or values…..thus isn’t it fitting that Jennifer Aniston would be the “Sweetheart” of Hollywood?

To be honest, I have great admiration for Jennifer. She is an attractive woman with pretty good comedic timing19, a great sense of style, and manages to convey a laid back, relaxed aura. Yet then again, this statement could describe thousands of actresses in Hollywood. So you have to greatly admire Jennifer Aniston for somehow managing to rise above the mold of mediocrity and ubiquity to become one of Hollywood’s top 5 paid actresses. 1

Jennifer is no great beauty. Is she attractive, good looking? Absolutely. She’s what old school beauty Joan Collins has described as “cute but not beautiful”. 2 If celebrities were normal people, but still afforded all the beauty + makeup treatments, then most people would say Jennifer Aniston is attractive, but certainly not at the level of beauty that people like Charlize Theron, Aishwarya Rai, Angelina Jolie, and Halle Berry are at.

But of course, because she is a celebrity with legions of fans who love her and hate Angelina Jolie, and a powerful PR machine21, she has somehow gotten herself to be named the “Hottest Woman of All Time”.3 In my opinion, while it is true that Jennifer thrives on public adulation, even she wouldn’t be dumb enough to have her publicist, Stephen Huvane (who Business Insider, a business & technology news site, dubbed “The most powerful publicist in Hollywood”21. He and his brother Kevin Huvane, an agent, represents Chelsea Handler20, Reese Witherspoon21, Sandra Bullock22, Gwyneth Paltrow23, and more), buy her such a title. The public response when she was dubbed “hottest woman” was overwhelmingly derogatory towards Jennifer. She became a sort of joke.

Unfortunately I think Jennifer’s fans really shot her in the foot because they’re desperate for Jennifer to compete with Angelina Jolie, who around the world is known as one of the most beautiful, if not the most beautiful woman24. Thus they’re desperate and hope that by continuously shoving it down everyone’s throats, that it will become true that Jennifer Aniston is one of the most beautiful women in the world.25

Despite being a woefully average actress (as evidenced by her lack of award nominations and wins outside of Friends) and simply above average in looks2,25, Aniston has managed to become known in the celebrity media as one of the most beautiful and talented actresses of her generation. Even industry giants like Forbes4 and Deadline5 think she’s a powerful actress.

Jennifer has astonishingly managed to convince the media4,5 that she is in the same elite league as the other actresses in her age group: Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie, Reese Witherspoon, etc.

All the big actresses are Oscar winners. Jennifer has never even been nominated for an Oscar despite a movie career spanning over 10 years as of 2014.

We supposedly give her credit for leading movies like Bruce Almighty, Marley & Me, Just Go With It, Horrible Bosses, and We’re the Millers to box office success, but was she the draw in any of them?

Bruce Almighty starred Jim Carey while he was still near his star peak, Marley & Me starred the dog, Just Go With It starred Adam Sandler (another super powerful comedy actor like Jim Carey), Jennifer was in Horrible Bosses for 12 minutes out of the 98 minute movie, and in We’re the Millers she shared the spotlight 4 ways.

Exhibitor Relations box office analyst Jeff Bock explains. “In fact, her solo rom-com career—where she has top billing over her male costar, like last year’s Love Happens, has always been a bit of a box office bust. However, when paired with a high profile [actor], such as Vince Vaughn, Jim Carrey or Owen Wilson, she shines.”31

When she has been the marquee name in a movie, like Wanderlust26 or The Switch27, they have bombed quite badly. The Switch actually made more money than its budget, as did a few more of her films where she was the lone big name, but production budgets do NOT include marketing nor do Hollywood studios keep the entire domestic gross (they only keep ~50% of domestic receipts and less for international).28 Thus Jennifer has quite a handful of movies that LOST the studio money.

Now it’s unfair to single Jennifer out. EVERY actress that has ever become an A-Lister has had a couple of bombs. However, compared to the other A-List actresses who are also Oscar winners, they’ve all carried at least one, if not many, films to success based on their names alone. Julia Roberts in many movies in the 1990’s (but most recently Eat Pray Love), Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde, Sandra Bullock in The Proposal, Angelina Jolie in Salt, Nicole Kidman in the Others.

The Ulmer Scale, which tracks bankability of movie stars, says of Aniston “She’s not A-list anymore but is a strong B-plus for mid-budget romantic comedies. Even then, she needs to be paired with an A-minus male star to be bankable internationally.”29

Hollywood industry heavyweights Vulture/NYMag says of Aniston in their Star Market Analysis, “[The bottom line is this:] Aniston certainly brings name recognition and press to any project, but isn’t a reliable gross-getter on her own.”30

Arguably the most powerful Hollywood industry magazine, The Hollywood Reporter, says of her, “[Jennifer Aniston is] second-tier, but reliably second-tier.”31

Why exactly is Jennifer considered an A-Lister like these other actresses? She has never in her 10+ year movie career carried a movie to success nor managed to garner even a single measly Oscar nomination.

What’s more surprising is that many of Jennifer’s fans argue that Angelina Jolie is a horrible actress (as is Brad Pitt) and that they “bought” their Oscars + Oscar nominations (Currently Angelina Jolie has 2 Oscars, the 2000 Best Supporting Actress for Girl Interrupted & 2013 Jean Hersholt, while Brad Pitt has the 2014 Producing Oscar for 12 Years a Slave). Yet if this were true, why has Jennifer Aniston not simply bought one for herself? As someone with about the same net worth as Angelina Jolie16,32 and more importantly, the “Most Powerful Publicist in Hollywod, Stephen Huvane”21,  Jennifer Aniston certainly has the power to buy herself an Oscar.

Now perhaps Jennifer Aniston has morals and values over Angelina Jolie. And also she’s just so above it. Awards mean crap.

And yet she and her publicist bought herself a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame33, something neither Brad Pitt nor Angelina Jolie have bought.

What do I mean by bought?

According to one of America’s largest news sites, ABC News, “Anybody can nominate a celebrity with the permission of that celebrity. A fan club, a publicist, a relative, anybody. There is a sponsorship fee involved — $30,000. If selected, the fee is paid by the sponsor about a month or so before the ceremony.”34

Usually the sponsors are publicists and movie studios. One of America’s oldest and most respectable newspapers, the Los Angeles Times, says of the Hollywood Walk of Fame stars, “It’s just the latest corporate attempt to buy some good buzz.”35

So technically Jennifer herself didn’t bankroll the star. Who in their right mind would turn down free stuff? You can NOT blame Jennifer for accepting that star. However, it’s not like she couldn’t have turned it down if she wanted to.

ABC News points out that:

“Julia Roberts and Denzel Washington? Julia isn’t interested. Denzel was selected many years ago and never set a date for the ceremony. Clint Eastwood is another one, Al Pacino is another one. Because of that, now we have to have a sign off. They have to sign off and say they’re in agreement with the nomination, and they have to do the ceremony within five years or they expire.

Whitney Houston, when she passed away, people went crazy, asking, “Where’s her star?” She was offered a star in the ’90s but she never set her date. It expired. But I’m sure the committee would vote on a reinstatement. We’ve done posthumous ceremonies where a family member accepts it.”34

So Jennifer accepting sponsorship of the star means she wanted it. She cares. Otherwise she would have turned it down like Julia, Denzel, Whitney, Eastwood, and Pacino – all of whom are greater stars than she will ever be.

So it’s established she wants the awards and accolades and doesn’t mind buying them. Her very lack of an Oscar and even a single Oscar nomination then means the Oscars cannot be bought. Thus Jennifer’s lack of awards and nominations is evidence that she is simply not very good an actress.

She is A-List in name alone, within English speaking countries, but just terribly lacking in all other departments.

How has she pulled off the greatest scam in the history of Hollywood?

Well, by using her powerful PR machine21 to gain sympathy from the media and from people who believe anything they read in tabloids.

I’m not going to get into the whole Brad/Angelina/Jennifer thing, but the story is out there on millions of websites, if you are unfamiliar.

Even if the whole affair story was true (of which there is zero evidence, only tons and tons of speculation and circumstantial gossip), as of 2014, Jennifer Aniston kind of deserved it.

We should be hailing Angelina Jolie as a psychic punisher of hypocrites.

Despite playing the victim card for years and years, Jennifer allegedly breaks up Justin Theroux’s (her current fiancé) 14 year relationship with Heidi Bivens. In this situation, there’s absolutely zero evidence and only a lot of speculation and circumstantial gossip.

Sound familiar?

Here’s a timeline of Jolie + Pitt’s love:36

Summer 2004: Jolie + Pitt film Mr. & Mrs. Smith with rumors of an affair immediately beginning.

January 2005: Jennifer Aniston & Brad Pitt separate.

March 2005: Jennifer Aniston files for divorce from Brad Pitt.

April 2005: Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt seen together in Kenya

October 2005: Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston finalize their divorce.

From Shiloh Nouvel Jolie Pitt’s birthdate at the end of May, she was conceived in late August/early September.

The only facts we can take away from this is that ABSOLUTELY, YES! Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie were together WHEN BRAD PITT WAS MARRIED TO JENNIFER ANISTON.

Of course, in smaller print, you might notice that when Brad + Angelina were together, Brad + Jennifer had separated AND filed for divorce. To most people, that would mean a relationship that was completely over and simply stuck on legal formalities.

If you really want to get technical, Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie absolutely had an affair. She slept with a married man. That is 100% true.

But neither Brad nor Angelina wrecked any marriage or relationship. Jennifer & Brad had done that to themselves already in January through March of 2005, prior to Brad getting together with Angelina Jolie.


Now let’s look at Jennifer Aniston’s timeline with Justin Theroux:

Fall/Winter 2010 39: Jennifer Aniston & Justin Theroux film Wanderlust after having reconnected on set. Theroux is in a relationship with Heidi Bivens, longtime love of 14 years.40

March 201140: Justin Theroux and Heidi Bivens break up according to many unnamed “sources”. Remember Jennifer Aniston is the one with Hollywood’s Most Powerful Publicist 21 who can feed “sources” to tabloids. Heidi Bivens has no publicist and very little contacts/influence.

April 14, 201145: Jennifer is at the studio directing her movie “Five”. Her story segment is 15-20 minutes long and does not involve CGI, action, special effects, etc. This means principal photography/filming only takes 2 weeks maximum, maybe 3 weeks.

According to PEOPLE Magazine (the celebrity holy grail that is always correct and is a favorite of Jennifer Aniston’s publicist Stephene Huvane and Jennifer as well) Jennifer Aniston introduces Justin Theroux as her boyfriend to her “Five” coworkers ON SET. Notice this comes not from a “source” but from an actual person, Penelope Spheeris, who was a co-director on “Five” with Jennifer, so an absolutely legitimate source.43

I mention “on set” because that means it happened during filming and not during postproduction.

April 25, 201144: Picture evidence of Justin Theroux and Heidi Bivens as an official couple at the Broadway premiere of “House of Blue Leaves”. Apparently they did not break up in March.

May 201137: Jennifer and Justin have lunch with other friends.

May 201138: E News asks Heidi Biven’s mom about rumors between Justin & Jennifer and tell Ryan Seacrest “I’ve found out from Heidi Bivens’ mom, who apparently would know, that Justin has told her there is nothing going on between him and Jennifer, and that they’re just friends. It’s a big misunderstanding.”

June 2011 : Justin Theroux moves in with Jennifer Aniston37 and are officially a couple according to one of America’s oldest and most respectable newspapers, the Los Angeles Times.42

June 2011 41: Heidi Biven’s mom speaks to RadarOnline and says “Heidi is doing fine and just trying to get on with her life [despite the high profile and painful split].”

So reviewing the actual evidence and ignoring the tabloid gossip…….

Justin + Jen worked together on a film (like Brad + Angelina) roughly half a year (began filming Wanderlust in November 201039) before they got together officially in June 201142.

There’s no guarantee Jennifer began filming her segment in Five on April 14 (it could have been midway) but again we go only with EVIDENCE. So we say April 14th is her first day filming. We again give her the benefit of the doubt and say it took 3 weeks when realistically it only took 2 weeks. So 3 weeks from April 14th is about May 5th.

Justin and Heidi were still very much a couple together during April 25th (Picture evidence)44.

Sometime between April 14th and May 5th Jennifer introduced Justin as her “boyfriend” to her fellow “Five” co-workers and co-directors ON SET and not during postproduction.43

Giving Jennifer the benefit of the doubt, despite Justin + Heidi pictured looking very happy together on April 25th, they had a horrible fight that same night and he dumped her immediately, so Justin + Heidi break up on April 25/26th.

In May, after having broken up with Heidi after 14 years together40, and despite Jennifer introducing Justin as her boyfriend to co-directors43, Justin tells Heidi Biven’s mom that there’s nothing going on between him + Jennifer.38

Within a little more than a week, Jennifer + Justin hook up and Jennifer introduces Justin as her boyfriend43. After 1.5 months of the break up, Justin + Jen are officially a couple42 and have moved in together37 according to the Los Angeles Times and Us Weekly.

Here’s the analysis. Remember I only used FACTS, which are photo evidence, remarks from trustworthy sources like a named director Penelope Spheeris to PEOPLE, the most trustworthy celebrity magazine, and LATimes, one of America’s oldest and most trustworthy newspapers.

Basically Justin Theroux dumped Heidi Bivens and within a few days asked Jennifer if they’d like to go out.

There is ZERO EVIDENCE that Jennifer and Justin cheated.

With the facts we have, ZERO EVIDENCE.

They simply got together super fast because they had an amazing connection. People complain that if someone is going to cheat, have the morals and nerves and balls to admit to your partner you’re highly attracted to someone else and want to dump them to get together with this new person. A total A-Hole move but NEITHER of you deserve to be in an unhappy relationship, which is what it will be if a partner is attracted to someone else.

This is what Justin Theroux did. He told Heidi Bivens he was tired of their 14 year relationship and dumped her promptly. As a free man, he started dating Jennifer Aniston within a few days to a week.

Did he lie to Heidi Biven’s mom? Yes, but he owes NOTHING to Heidi anymore. She has no legal or moral rights to demand to know what his personal/dating life is like.

It is courtesy to inform her, but again, not required in any way.

So what we have established is that:

Neither Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Justin Theroux, or Jennifer Aniston have cheated on anybody based on ACTUAL EVIDENCE.

It is, however, a great similarity that both couples worked with each other 6 – 12 months prior to officially getting together and while working together on a movie set, were involved in serious relationships with someone else.

It is also a similarity that both couples got together extremely quickly, in perhaps eyebrow raising ways, after Jennifer and Brad filed for divorce and after Justin Theroux dumped Heidi.

Jennifer filed for divorce in late March and Pitt + Jolie were seen together in early April.

Theroux dumped Heidi Bivens in late April and he & Jennifer got together in early May.

Now let me ask an interesting question:

Despite being in arguably the exact same situation, why was Angelina Jolie tarred and burned at the stake while Jennifer Aniston with her powerful PR machine21 managed to walk free? In both cases, the two met on a movie set and were together within about a year.

INSERT Depp, Portman, etc.

Again, you have to hand it to the saavy, manipulative, Aniston.

But the biggest problem for me about Jennifer Aniston is that she’s a hypocrite of the highest order and horribly insecure, controlling, and manipulative. A total fraud.

This woman complains about people saying mean things about her, like Kimberly Stewart calling her “homely”6 or Perez Hilton calling her “Maniston”7 and yet is perfectly happy to be friends with Chelsea Handler?

She actually stalked Perez Hilton, confronted him in a parking lot, and called him out on his “bullying”. But somehow Chelsea Handler bullying Angelina Jolie is okay?

In her September 2013 interview for Glamour Magazine, Jennifer talks about bullying, saying “I related to that f**king feeling of people just wanting to rip down the powerful, beautiful woman who speaks her mind. Stuff like that’s so sh*tty. I don’t like injustice. We’re living in a time where, whether it’s the Internet or tabloids, being sh*tty has become a sport. We’re just grown-up bullies. We literally could not need to have our hearts more open than in these times.”8

Really Jennifer? So Chelsea Handler, your good friend, attacking the powerful, beautiful Angelina Jolie is totally okay? Perez Hilton calling you “Maniston” and Kimberly Stewart calling you “homely” is not okay, but Chelsea Handler calling Angelina Jolie a “f**king c**t”9 is totally cool?

To note, despite Jennifer always claiming it was the media who exaggerated the Brangelina/Jennifer situation, Chelsea didn’t start hating on Angelina Jolie so viciously until a few days after vacationing with Jennifer for the first time.10

But that’s just the surface of her hypocrisy.

Jennifer has a love hate relationship with the media. She loves it when they give her undue praise but hates it when they point out her lies and hypocrisy.

For instance, after Jennifer divorced from actor Brad Pitt, for many years she kept saying she wanted kids (just read any of her interviews from that time period), my favorite being this interview she did with PEOPLE in 2011 “I think people honestly just want to see me as a mom and married and barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen,” she says, laughing.  “And I just want to say, ‘Everybody, relax!  It’s going to happen.”11

So she is the one setting the narrative, telling the media she wants children. Yet now in 2014 she has the audacity to slam the media for being sexist for asking her questions based on what she has previously claimed?

For a few years she has complained that asking her about her pregnancy status/marriage status is pretty sexist and unfair and obnoxious. In fact, she even got supposed feminist icon Gloria Steinem (The woman has serious issues) to defend her. Gloria slammed the media on behalf of Jennifer, saying it was sexist how Jennifer gets asked about her marital/baby status so much but George Clooney gets a free pass.12

Maybe because George Clooney has maintained since the 1990’s that he never wants kids or marriage? But Jennifer Aniston has constantly been saying she wants kids and love since her split with Brad Pitt? Only in the past 2-3 years has she backed off those statements and suddenly turned on the media.

Hypocrisy? Yet again. Fraud? Yet again.

Jennifer complains she’s not manipulative and doesn’t care about the media, but yet somehow always seems to know what the media is saying about her and feels the desperate need to refute all their claims.

When Yahoo published an article claiming Jennifer spends $400.00 a day on beauty13, Jennifer felt the need to respond to this harmless piece of gossip. She didn’t simply have her publicist issue a standard “The story is false”, but instead released a personal statement to PEOPLE, saying:

“Although I am a sucker for an amazing moisturizer, love a great facial, have been using the same cleansing bar since I was a teenager and have always been a dedicated tooth-brusher, reports that I am spending eight thousand a month on a beauty regime are greatly exaggerated. By my tally this month I’m in for about two hundred bucks.”14

Jennifer claims she spends $200 a month on beauty. She also claims she loves getting laser treatments, telling Conan “I did this thing called like, a peel. It’s extremely intense – you don’t realise you look like a battered burn victim for a week.”15

The cheapest laser peels cost in low hundreds of dollars, but would a woman worth 150 million16 really get only the cheapest available laser treatment? Or would she get the most expensive, performed by the best dermatologists in the country? That alone would set her back in the thousands.

Not to mention she has a personal trainer, Mandy Ingber,17.

Is it really possible to spend only $2,400 a year ($200 x 12 months) with the kind of treatments she’s getting? Don’t forget she’s also getting some fillers here and there, some botox, has a makeup artist, a hair stylist, etc.

Now the only defense Jennifer can give is that her $200 refers to only facial products, like moisturizers, facial washes, etc.

But the Yahoo article breaks down her expenses and mentions hair stylists, dieticians, aestheticians, personal trainers, etc.

So the Yahoo article, to which Jennifer was responding, never claimed she was spending $400/day on only facial products.

Strange way for her to answer the question. Because it’s pretty much been established that there’s no way everything she’s getting costs only $200 a month.

But again, the main point is, why the hell did she feel the need to respond with a personal statement about such a pointless, harmless article?

Star Magazine claims Angelina Jolie spends $500 a day on beauty.18 You didn’t even get a denial from her representative (AJ has no publicist). Much less a personal statement.

And again, someone calls Jennifer Aniston “homely” and she cries to the media about it. People like Chelsea Handler call Angelina Jolie a f**king c**t and she ignores it.

Basically every time the media says anything that is NOT positive about Jennifer, she feels the need to give us her version of the truth.

Any time the media says anything NOT positive about Angelina Jolie, she just ignores it.

I’ll probably write a bit more later and update with more links.

For now….

Verdict: Hollywood A-Hole